One of my favorite things is dropping eaves in Panera. I’ve listened in to lots of conversations that aren’t for me, and I know it makes me a terrible person, but the tables are too close and sometimes I get bored.
Anyway, a while back there was a table of 3 guys in their mid-50’s (confession: I’m TERRIBLE at estimating ages so lets say they were between 14-74) sitting next to me. Sadly they were normal and uninteresting. They talked about sports, tv shows, and their families. The fact that they were all married with children is very relevant to what happened next…
They got up to leave and one of them had to go to the restroom so he said his goodbye’s at the table. That’s when it happened. He said it…
“I love you guys”
And the other two guys said it back. One of them even threw his name in it to make it even more personal.
I’ve heard men kind of throw that phrase around, but never like this. It was so heartfelt and sincere. It wasn’t a throwaway statement like “see ya” or “take it easy”. I’m not going to lie. It made me cringe.
Not because they did anything wrong. No. It made me cringe, and honestly even now just feels weird to me, because I had never told a friend that I loved them (one exception for a friend who was going through a very serious thing). I know it is the most cliche thing in the world, but saying “I love you” just isn’t easy for me. Sure, it’s natural with Kristan and the boys. Actually, Nolan and Asher will tell you that I say it too much to them. With friends, however, it just isn’t something I’ve ever said. I do love my friends. It’s just the talking about it.
About a month ago a friend of mine texted me just to say they were praying for me and that they loved me. This friend knew I had something kind of heavy on my mind and was just reaching out…because they cared and that’s what friends do. I remember how much that text made me feel better. I’m not sure if that person reads my blogs, but if so – Thank you!
Women are generally pretty good about expressing themselves. Guys, less so. Every now and then we write a sappy facebook post or something. Funny enough, extremely public expressions of emotion are way easier than one on one. Weird. So, here are the reasons I came up with for why I’m going to try to be a little better about telling friends that I love them (relax – I’m not going to be getting all sappy…I’ll just get marginally better)
- Having friends that you love and that love you is not as common as you think – I’ve quoted the statistic before that the average American has less than 2 friends (and 25% of people have no one they consider a close friend). Those kinds of friends are rare.
- It’s really easy for people to not know they are loved – Sadly there is a lie that a lot of people believe: the lie that they are alone…even if they aren’t.
- It feels pretty good to tell someone you love them – It’s a reminder for you to say the words to someone else. Loving others is about as great of a feeling as being loved by others.
- It makes the day a whole lot better for someone – It’s hard to have a bad day when someone unexpected tells you that they love you. It’s a phrase that, unfortunately, loses it’s power from the people who say it the most. I KNOW Kristan and the boys love me, and if they stopped loving me I’d be devastated, but it’s hard not to take it for granted. I hear it so much from them.
So, prepare yourselves. 2016 is the year of LOVE!
Seriously though, this is the touchy-feeliest blog I’ve ever written. I don’t like it.